8/22/13: Fighting the Voices

The temperature and humidity were both in the upper eighties tonight, so my run was sort of short and slow. 

Distance: 3.22 miles 

Time: 31:51 

Pace: 9:54 min/mile 

The memorable part of this run, however, didn't come from the run itself, but from something that happened during the run. 

I frequent a lot of suburban neighborhoods on my runs. South Lexington has an abundance of them, with well-kept sidewalks and friendly people and modest little homes. Normally, it's the ideal place for a runner. But while running through one of these neighborhoods today, a car drove past me slow enough for a kid, maybe ten or twelve years old, to lean out the window and yell at me. 

"Get a haircut!" He cried. 

What the heck was this about? I had no idea who this kid (or the adult driving the car) was. I hadn't run through this neighborhood in more than a year. And I was on the sidewalk, minding my own business. Not to mention that I think I wear my ponytail rather well, and I don't think it's a look a lot of guys could pull off.  

I had less than a second to think of a witty retort. And I couldn't help but smile as I yelled, "No chance!" In reply. 

The car pulled into the nearest cul-de-sac, turned back the other direction, and drove away. Meaning they had gone out of their way simply to pass and harass the running guy with the ponytail. 

Which brings me to the purpose of this entry. 

I'm no stranger to voices telling me who or what I should be. When I weighed 230 pounds my sophomore year in high school, the heaviest I have ever been in my life, I got made fun of. I didn't get a lot of dates. And my self-worth hinged mostly on my perceptions of my own body. 

So, over the course of several years, I started walking. Walking turned into jogging. Jogging turned into running. Running turned into a habit of buying short-shorts and expensive socks and vibrant, scientifically-designed shoes. 

But one doesn't simply stop being a 'fat kid'. There are still times when I find myself looking in a mirror, wondering when I'm actually going to 'get in shape', why I don't log more miles, how I could justify eating as much as I do, et cetera. It's an inner voice, spurred by long-ago memories of exterior voices. It's lost most of its volume over the years, but I'd be foolish to say that it's ever going to be gone for good. 

When my wife left me more than a year ago, there was no "working on it," no "we've tried everything, the marriage is unsavable," no "road to recovery". Just me, left in a pile of shattered dreams, leaving the mail of the woman who used to love me on her car once a month because she still hasn't changed her mailing address on all of her stuff. 

Different voices emerged from the darkness. They were rooted in the old self-esteem issues of my past, but they burned with the fuel of rejection, hotter and stronger than I had ever known at any previous point in my life.

Last summer, during a session, my counselor asked if I "enjoyed my own company", when I turned off the internet and pulled myself out of my tasks and simply was with myself; if I liked myself enough to simply exist with myself.

I didn't understand what she meant. I didn't really think other people enjoyed my company; why should I? 

Months of living, growing, drinking, crying, praying, and yes, running, led me to where I am now. The pieces of my life fit together more than they have in a year, thanks be to God alone. Though sometimes it feels to little too late, I now know that His voice, and the voices of the friends and family who really care about me, were the ones I should have been listening to all along. 

I don't talk a lot about those cold, broken days. Hillary asked me the other day if I would ever consider blogging about the last two years of my life. She said that it's a really inspirational story, that a lot of people could benefit from hearing my story. Honestly, I don't like thinking about those days. So instead I run, and I write about running, and I teach, and I lead youth group. 

But then I remember that there are plenty of other people out there being led by the same voices of inadequacy, self-loathing, and depression that led me for so long. There are people telling themselves they're not good enough, they're hopeless, they're at a dead-end from which there is no escape. 

A word of advice from a guy who escaped: You CAN do it. 

So drive on, black car. Keep taunting, kid in the passenger seat. My shoes are still going to lace up the same tomorrow. The first cup of coffee tomorrow morning is still going to be the most delicious thing I have ever imbibed. And, every time I get out there and log miles, I'm only getting better. 

And I, under no circumstances, am getting a haircut. 

Post-run hair. Gotta love it. 

Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired

I've managed to get in three runs in the last week, counting tonight. I'm not even going to bother with the other two; just trust me when I say they were nothing to write home about. This most recent run wasn't much, either, but I feel like I should record SOMETHING.

Start time: ~7:30 PM
Weather: cloudy, 78 degrees F, muggy.
Time: 55:53
Distance: 5.36 miles
Pace: 10:25 min/mile


A little personal information about me:
 - I am 30 years old
 - I am a public high school teacher
 - this is my 7th year teaching in public education

I've heard it said that kids are simply vessels that diseases use to travel to adults who would otherwise remain healthy. Working in schools has exposed me to every illness creeping across the planet, and my immune system has gotten stronger over the last seven years because of it.


So why is it that one little cold has floored me for 10 days?


Hacking. Coughing. Sinus congestion. Body aches. It feels like the symptoms have been changing on a daily basis, and every time I'm no closer to feeling more like myself. I even had to start the new school year coughing into my elbow every five minutes. I've finished three prescriptions and only now feel like I'm past the worst.

So today, when I thought I could manage a strong run, I went for it. Yes, I coughed every now and again, (in fact, I just coughed while typing this), but it was worth it to get out and move my legs.


And I decided to try some hill sprints today.

Lexington is a city that boasts some impressive hills (just ask anyone who's ever finished the Run the Bluegrass Half Marathon at Keeneland), so it's a great place to work on strengthening tendons and ligaments, increasing running power, and all the other benefits of hill training.

Sisyphus, eternally pushing his boulder uphill. What my run today felt like after a few miles. 

In an effort to train for all my upcoming races, I hit a hill I've dubbed "Long, Tall, and Handsome". It begins with a short dip, inclines sharply, then does a slow, gradual incline for roughly half a mile. Maintaining a consistent pace on this hill is HARD, which I guess is why I sent myself there today after nearly a week off of running. Maybe I thought it was what I needed to whip myself back into the game after 'taking it easy' for too long. 

Hopefully, by my next post, I'll be 100%. It's been 15 days since my last long run, and I'm itching to get out there. Until then, feel free to leave me a message with any routes you like to take, products you swear by, or any other running-related rant. 

A Fun and Muddy Weekend, with a Head Cold Chaser

Last Saturday, me, my girlfriend Hillary (I've mentioned her in previous entries), and our friends Shannon, Caleb, and Tyler ran the Warrior Dash in Versailles, KY. It was my third Warrior Dash, and Tyler's second, but it was the first experience for the rest of our crew (which we dubbed 'Team Lowered Expectations').

Our "before" picture 

Our "after" picture. Not sure what happened with the black bars on this one. 

For those of you who've never done a Warrior Dash (or similar mud run), I highly recommend it. I consider myself a fairly intense runner, with my daily runs focused on how they'll improve my performance on race day. The Warrior Dash is nothing like that, and that's what makes it so much FUN. No one does a Warrior Dash to set a personal record. It, and similar races, are just for the sheer joy of running and to tackle things you never thought you could. 

The worst part about this Warrior Dash was the lack of water. Not to drink; there was plenty of that. But when the race was over, and we were covered in mud and looking for somewhere to clean ourselves, there was no water to be found. The water trucks had run dry by the time we were finished (around 2:30), and another truck didn't arrive for nearly an hour later, when we had resolved ourselves to driving home filthy. 

I mean, really. It's a mud run. Thousands of people are going to need to clean up. You didn't bring enough WATER? 

After a good shower and a two-hour nap, Hillary and I met in downtown Lexington that evening for the 29th annual A Midsummer Night's Run 5k. It's almost more of a festival than a race, because the vendors and spectators turn out in droves.  The city was beautiful and night, and thought we didn't break any speed records, it was a blast to get two 5Ks under our belts in the same day!  

Rewind to Saturday morning. I woke up with a scratchy throat, but didn't think anything of it (that happens often when I leave the air conditioner on).  

By Sunday, my throat hurt worse and I was having body aches. 

Monday, my tonsils felt like rocks in the back of my throat. 

Tuesday, my throat felt worse, and I had developed a hacking cough and sinus pain. 

Today, my sinuses are killing me, I'm still coughing, but at least my throat feels better. 

What the heck, body!? I to do two 5ks in the same day, and suddenly you turn on me? I try my best to keep you in shape!  My teaching experience was supposed to prep my immune system against head colds (or whatever I managed to pick up). 

So, I've not been able to run for a few days. But the weather today is beautiful, so I might take some time to myself when I get home from work and try to go "mind over matter" on this cold. 

I'll return from the run with pictures!  Until then, check out this great article from Runner's World about 10 bad running habits and how to break them. 

Thursday, 8/8/13: Blood, Sweat, and Tears

First, yesterday morning's run:

Start time: 6:45AM (I accidentally turned off my alarm; oops!)
Start temperature: 72 degrees F
Start humidity: There was actually more water than air. It was miserable.
Distance: 5.90 miles
Pace: I have no idea (explained below)

Ever have one of the mornings where, when you get back from your run, you're so sweaty and thirsty that you run straight for a bottle of water and forget to turn off your GPS running app?

Yeah, me too.

I didn't remember to turn it off and record my pace until half an hour later, so it recorded my pace as around 14 min/mile. Which, of course, wasn't correct. But I imagine by pace still wasn't fantastic, because I got off to a late start, allowing the sun to rise, and the temperature was a full 20 degrees warmer than my last run. And yeah, the humidity was miserable.


And now, I'd like to talk about pain.


For me, it started out as knee pain, a few years ago.

Then the knee pain went away, and my ankles started to hurt.

Now my ankles feel better, but my achilles tendons are killing me.

That thing right above your heel. 

I've never been worried about orthopedic pain before. All the other aches and pains I've experienced while running have gone away after a few weeks or months. I've always chocked it up to my body adjusting to a new training schedule, toughening up against more punishment (most of the time, that's how training works).  

But it feels different this time. My achilles feel stiff and cold in the morning, like an old piece of leather. If I step too quickly in the morning without stretching (not run... simply walk around my house), it hurts like the dickens. I don't remember my other running aches being so prevalent when I'm not actually running. I'm actually considering seeing an orthopedic specialist to get it checked out; I've been reading up on achilles tendons tears, and they sound really nasty. 

Then again, it could just be me being a hypochondriac. Still, while I have insurance that will (mostly) cover going to a specialist, I may take advantage of it. 

If you're having similar pains, Runner's World has posted a articles about achilles pain that I've found pretty helpful. 

Are you having running pains? Let me know! I'm not a doctor (not even close!), but we runners need to stick together through our limps. 

Monday, 8/5/13: The Real Role of Rest *OR* Race Crazy

It's been a week since my last post, and I've only done one run since then.  I didn't bother recording it because it was nothing special (under 5 miles, crappy pace).  But this morning I decided to tackle a long run.  The first one in more than a week. And I was very pleased with the results!

Start time: ~6:20 (I slept in this morning)
Start temperature: 58 degrees F
Distance: 13.07 miles
Time: 1:55:58
Pace: 8:52 min/mile
Food before run: 1 cup shredded wheat (unsweetened), topped off with milk.

First and foremost:  YOWZA! Look at that pace! I was like lightning this morning!

Before I toot my own horn further, there are many factors that are probably contributing to that pace.

1.) First (and probably foremost), the app I use to record my runs auto-pauses whenever I'm stationary.  So whenever I had to wait at a crosswalk and got a few seconds of much-needed rest, the timer wasn't actually counting.  I guess you'll have to take my word that I didn't stop every mile and refresh myself with a rest, all the while cheating my running app.  If I was going to cheat on my runs, why bother running in the first place?

2.)  This summer has been Lexington's most mild summer in many, many years.  Last year, I would have never seen a morning in August at 57 degrees.

3.)  It had been four days since I last ran.  Not fighting fatigue or injury, I was able to push myself this morning.

4.)  I ate a little before my run (I haven't done that pretty much all summer), and I refueled with Sport Beans during the run.

I took this picture during a crosswalk stop.  

And I think it's time for me to break up with Sport Beans. I first reviewed the product in this post, and said their nasty flavor was the primary factor that kept me from going whole hog on them.  This package boasted "assorted" flavors, which makes sense, because every one of them tasted like ass.  Sorry, Sport Beans, but for my money, I can find a product that does your job just as well while tasting much better.  

And, come on... a resealable package?  Who's going to reseal a measly one-ounce package?  

On another note, I've signed up for several races this fall!  

August 10:  I've signed up for BOTH Warrior Dash Versailles and A Midsummer Night's Run. The former will be my third Warrior Dash; but in that race, new locations always bring new challenges. The latter is Lexington's premier annual 5k, celebrating their 28th year.  I'm running these races with my dear friend Hillary (her blog can be found here) and a few friends from church. Pictures from both races will be posted!  

October 20:  Last year I swore I'd never do another Tough Mudder. I guess I'll never learn, because I signed up for it again. If you're running and you'd like to join my team, send me a message!  I'll gladly give the team name and the password for you to join!  

December 7:  What would fall be without a half marathon? The Christmas on the Country Music Highway Half Marathon will be my smallest race (the website says its limited to 300 participants!), but it's also the most affordable half I have ever done. I registered last week for $40.00!  

March 29, 2014: Yes, I know it's still months away, but I can't say enough about the Run the Bluegrass Half Marathon.  This will be my fourth year in the race, and what started out as a small race is growing into a renown celebration of all that central Kentucky has to offer to the global running community. I am always impressed with this race.  If you can make it in before the race sells out (they sold more than 10% of their spots in the first four days of open registration), I highly recommend it! 

Yeah, I know... there aren't any full marathons on my race schedule.  I'm actually waiting for registration to open for the 2014 Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon to open!  Runner's World magazine has toted this race as one of the most fun in the entire country.  I can think of no better place to try to beat my old, embarrassing marathon time of 5:13:39. I'll keep you posted, dear reader! 

UPDATE: Results from Miles for Missions Project!  

If you've read some of my earlier posts, you know that I participated in a project called 'Miles for Missions', in which I raised money to buy school supplies for needy kids by running during the month of July.  Unfortunately, I didn't hit my goal of 100 miles for the month (only hit 90.33). Fortunately, my sponsors were very generous, and I was still able to raise $231.85 for needy kids!  Thanks so much to all who donated so generously!