No, it's not the first time. And as such, it's much different than the last time I was engaged. I'm a full five years older, now into my thirties. For Hillary, it's been more than a decade since she had to worry about the details of a wedding. Though we have both agreed that this is going to be the last wedding we ever have to plan, we have agreed to err on the side of simplicity in as many areas as possible.
Yesterday, we booked Equus Run Vineyards for Friday, July 18th. So, to everyone out there, this is date you're going to have to remind me every year to buy flowers and presents. (Kidding, kidding! I'm never going to forget this date)
We were going to go with Saturday, the 26th, but someone literally booked it the day before we got to the vineyard. So, to cut down on time spent planning and researching, we decided for the Friday, since all the other Saturdays were either booked at the venue site, or we had other activities going on.
So far, this doesn't quite seem like new territory for the two of us yet. We have each, of course, done this before.
But remember, circumstances are far different for each of us now than they were the first time.
And yesterday night, I found myself with a feeling of being surrounded on all sides by decisions to be made, and a rapidly closing window in which to make them.
Colors.
Photographer.
Groomsmen and bridesmaids.
Wedding bands.
DJ.
Honeymoon.
Guest list (then save-the-date cards, then invitations)
And I'm sure a half-dozen things I haven't even bothered getting stressed about yet.
Suddenly, something I thought was going to be simple and low-key was becoming very complicated. Wow... come to think of it, even the act of making that list sort of stressed me out all over again.
This weekend, Hillary and I are in Louisville, visiting my brother Aaron and his wife, Rebecca. Hillary's ring has been resized at Merkley Kendrick Jewelers, to minimize the risk of it slipping off while she saves the world on a daily basis. I've had the majority of the day to myself: Aaron has been with the middle school kids from his church's youth group on a mission project all day, and Hillary and Rebecca have been taking care of all the feminine aspects of wedding planning (UPDATE: I just heard that Hillary's found and bought her wedding dress!).
So I took time today to go for a nice, long run through the unfamiliar streets of Louisville, Kentucky.
Running is my coping mechanism. When I'm pounding the pavement, things tend to drift into a new, fresh perspective. I suspect that I have adult ADD (my twin brother has just come to the same realization about himself, which you can read about in hilarious cartoon form), and the physical activity helps me get my thought organized.
Plus, I'm actually learning my way around L'ville. At least the area around Aaron and Rebecca's house.
Somewhere along either Eastern Parkway or Bardstown Road, things started to gain perspective.
Yes, wedding planning is stressful. Yes, weddings are expensive, and always end up twice as expensive as one expects they will (anyone who has ever paid for a wedding will vouch for this). But, holy cow... I'm getting married again! After my divorce, I wasn't sure this would ever happen! And I was convinced that, if I did decide to get married again, I would simply have to settle for someone, to marry the first woman who showed the mildest interest in me, simply for the sake of not being alone for the rest of my life.
I never dreamed what God would make of the rubble that was my life. And I surely never thought that he would send someone as awesome as Hillary (and, bonus! Two beautiful, wonderful little girls) into my life.
God not only has built from the rubble: he has taken the rubble, rearranged it into an avant-garde masterpiece, and handed it to me on a silver platter. And I'm complaining about wedding planning? That'd be like winning the lottery and complaining that I couldn't think of enough ways to spend the money.
The day of the wedding is going to be a rushed whirlwind, no matter what we do. Ten, twenty years from now, we're not going to remember what parts of the planning were the most stressful. All we're going to remember is how much fun we had on the day that we joined our lives, closed two chapters of "God has brought us through turmoil", and began a chapter of "What God is doing for us now".
So bring on the planning. When it's finished, it's going to be totally worth it.
And on a side note, Louisville is my kind of town.
Seen outside a coffee shop. As if you needed me to tell you.
